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Ground Zero: My Weight Loss Journey Day One

I have been to weight loss clinics and had consultations for weight loss surgery, but not only did my insurance not cover the surgery, the dietician at the weight loss clinic told me I wasn’t a candidate for the program because of two things: the medications are contraindicated for someone with Bipolar and can cause manic episodes, and my binge eating disorder could worsen on the restrictive diets that they use.  The dietician told me I needed to get to the root of the problem.  I was asking for help, and no one could help me.  I felt defeated.

When I crossed the threshold into the 300’s, you would think that I would have had a wake up call.  But it didn’t.  I just kept bingeing.  I am now 340lbs.  Every single time I get dressed to go somewhere nice I end up crying.  And often, I don’t want to even go anywhere, but I’m trying to work past that.  It’s embarrassing.  

My significant weight gains came after my diagnosis of Bipolar.  I started taking antipsychotics which come with weight gain as a side effect.  When I have tried to lose weight, it has been difficult to lose, and obviously even more difficult to keep off.  

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and asked if I could be taken off of the antipsychotic.  “Well Jackie, you have a choice.  Do you want Mania and Depression or do you want to stop taking the antipsychotics?”

My psychiatrist doesn’t sugar coat things.  She told me that my mood stabilizer wouldn’t help my manic episodes and that I am going to have to “work extra hard” at weight loss.  When I say my medications have caused weight gain – I’m not necessarily talking about the medications themselves, but their ability to worsen my binge eating disorder.  I have to take ownership of my poor eating habits or they will continue to own me.

She did tell me there was one medication I could try to help suppress my appetite, and that is Victoza daily injections.  It’s normally used for diabetes, but can aid in weight loss.  The way the medication works is by stimulating the production of insulin in the pancreas and by slowing down the speed in which food leaves the stomach.  This helps to prevent rapid spikes in blood sugar levels, but can also suppress your appetite, making you feel fuller for longer.  

I filled the script yesterday and took my first dose.  I’m starting on 0.6mg and will gradually move up from there.  So far, no adverse side effects.

So.. I am now going to have to come up with a plan of action to lose this weight.  I know that no medication is a fix all.  I do have hopes that the Victoza will help to lessen my binges.  

5/1/2021

SW: 340

CW: 340

GW: 160

It’s embarrassing to write those numbers down.  

It reminds me of the time I sat down and wrote down every single one of my debts before starting the Dave Ramsey plan for financial freedom.  That shit was hard and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel like I had so far to go.  That was 3 years ago and I’ve come a long way.  I bought a house and I no longer keep debt if I can.  I am more conscious of loans and credit cards and I try to stay within my budget – though I cheat sometimes.  

Analogies aside, I am starting this thing.  As NF says, “It’s prolly gonna be a long journey but hey!  It’s worth it though.  Cold world out there, kids grab your coats”

-One Flawsome Momma

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