I Have Tools Too, Thank You

“Good Luck with that. Let me know how that goes.”

The words that were texted to me by my male friend who was clearly a little agitated that I wouldn’t let him come over and you know, “help around the house”.

I have been in the process of moving my sister and her two kids into my home the last week, and he had helped the first day or two, but when turned town intimately, got visibly irritated. Now, I am not one to say tit for tat, but in those moments that is what it feels like. You came over and helped me so that you could get a little somethin’ somethin’….

For context. Actually. It doesn’t fucking matter why I didn’t want you to come over. I just didn’t and that should be enough. You’ve been clingy and full of expectations. So I have been pulling back. And this weekend I wanted it to be just us girls. “No boys allowed” as we used to say in middle school. Or maybe as we always say. Who the hell knows.

So. I decided I was going to mount my television. And those were his words to me. After I declined his offer. What do I do? I FUCKING MOUNT MY TELEVISION. Was it a little funny to watch me struggle because I didn’t have the right damn drill bits? Maybe a little, but a Lowes trip fixed it. Is it slightly off level? Sure, but it gives it character. Either way, I did it and he can suck a big ol’ fat one.

Why do some men insist that women still can’t do basic mechanically inclined shit? Most of the time there are three reasons we want your help:

  1. We want to make you feel needed and masculine and all that other gooey Bullshit.
  2. We’re just fucking tired, so we bat our eyelids and proceed to number one.
  3. We’re extremely busy, so we legit ask for help

“Help” should never cost anything. Especially like that. And when it feels like it does, than it’s not the right kind of help you want around. It’s that kind of help that drives your independence just a little deeper.

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