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Little Sister: You’re a bad ass bitch

Little Sister,

It’s been one hell of a day, hasn’t it?  I believe the words you said while we were sitting in those uncomfortable seats at CarMax were, “Can’t anything good happen?”  and I think the words, “can’t I catch just one break?” were uttered too.  Along with several other phrases that most people use when shitty things happen.

I told you it was going to be okay.  And I’m sorry.  Those are the most useless fucking words anyone can utter to another human being when something tragic has just unfolded right before thier eyes.  I know that better than most, and yet I do it anyway.  I’ll probably do it again, so here is my apology in advance.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I have a few things that I feel compelled to share with you.  So just hang on here for a few minutes…..

Here’s what I know for sure.  

You were dealt a shitty hand in the childhood department.  It fucking sucked ass, and it’s going to take a lot of therapy and meetings to get through that ACOA bullshit.  (it’s not bullshit, but that sounded good)

And everything since then… well, at least over the last year, it’s been a shit show.  I can agree with that.  And today, finding out your identity was stolen, it was like icing all over the cake, right?

I’m not going to go into detail about every single bad thing that has happened to you.  You can write a book for that.  But, what I can tell you is that bad things happen.  And sometimes they railroad us back to back just to see if we’re fucking paying attention.  The bad things don’t feel good.  They cause anxiety and hurt in places we didn’t know exist.  They make us question our life choices, and even our existence.  They “fuck with us” for lack of a better term.

But there is something else that happens.  You begin to exist with a more open view of the world.  You become passionate about things that you maybe didn’t know you cared about.  You become more resourceful and better at problem solving.  You gain a better understanding of the shit that is good for you when you weed out the shit that isn’t good for you.  You build character and strength.  You become a better advocate not only for yourself, but for those around you – because all of a sudden you know what it’s like to be in a dark place, and you want not only for yourself, but for others to feel like they are not alone.  

You see, you get dealt these cards.  (I’m not going to say it’s all about how you play them, that would be corny as hell), but seriously, RESILIENCE.  When you gave me that necklace with that Owl, I thought to myself, “she must be nuts”.  I am not wise, little sister.  I’ve just been through some shit storms, and I’ve managed to stay resilient.  And all of those things that happen with resilience, they are happening with you.  Right Now.  And guess what, you’re gonna have a pretty interesting story and some “wise” advice for some young kid one day.  But for now, you just get to get through the shit storm.  One day at a time.  And know that on the other side of it is going to be …… YOU DONT KNOW.  So don’t even imagine it.  It could be another shit storm.  I’ve set myself up for that one before.  LOL.  No, but seriously.  There’s always good IN the shit storm.  So no matter how long it takes for it to end, just find the good there is in it and cling to that good, and work through the tough parts and build that resilience.  

You are my sister.  I know you are a bad ass bitch.  I am so proud of the woman you ARE.  Period.  Open, Passionate, Resourceful, Problem Solver, Strong, Self Advocate.  Inspiring, Giving, Gritty, Funny, Loving, Quirky, And may love words as much as me… I don’t know…

Just so you know.  When I hug you.  These are all the things that flow through my mind.  

So here is my hug to you.

Love,

Your Big Sis

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