I was sitting in a fast food restaurant, having lunch with my daughter after a day of shopping, when my then 7 year old nonchalantly asked,
“I wonder why daddy picked her over you?”
In a split second my chest tightened and I fought to hide back the tears. My head fogged up and I struggled to maintain my composure. I took a deep breath, looked at her and said, “Daddy didn’t pick her over me. Mommy and Daddy decided we just weren’t good together anymore.”
And that was it. No other questions. It just crossed her mind and came out of her mouth.
I had a lot of moments like that one. The moments where you have to put on your armor and shield your little one from your own personal hell. Most of the time I would choke it back, and other times, when I was weak, she would see tears fall from my face.
“Why are you crying, Momma?” She would ask.
“Because I’m sad. But Momma’s okay.” I would reply.
And then I would pull her into my arms and hug her like she was the only thing left on this Earth that could bring me to peace.
It’s never easy holding your tongue when you’re hurt, betrayed, angry, and bitter. But I made a promise to myself that I would never say anything to inhibit my daughters relationship with her father. She would continue to develop and grow in her relationship with him without any outside influence from me.
This is how I show my compassion. This is how I teach my daughter that sometimes it’s better to be quiet, than to be right. And one day, if she ever has to bear that armor and shield her own I want her to know she too has the strength to endure, to forgive and to move on.
One Flawsome Momma